TOP TEN LIST OF BEST CONDIMENTS AND WHY

There is only one thing in this earth which can unite and divide people more than nothing else (repubican vs. democrat, black vs. white, commie vs. America, possum vs. five rats, etc) and that is THE VARIOUS CONIDMENTS!

So your asking me to be objectively ranking the best one's according to they're unique talents and flavors?! OK kid, but I hope you can handle the truth. Get ready for this big steamy truth-dump.

#10 Maynaise

MAyonaise is absolute GARBAGE of a condiment! If I wanted to eat a mashed up pillsberry doughboy sperm, why didn't you just say so?!

#9 Whoresraddish

Now you may be saying "wait if your so smart why did you spell the wrong type of raddish"?, but I DIDN'T. Whoresraddish is for SLUTS and that's why it earned the number 10 spot of this list

#7 Yellow Mustard

Now we're getting some where. Yellow mustard may not be fancy" like it says so on the bottle, but at least it's a real man's squirt for working men that don't want no dry hotdogs.

#6 Salsa

To anybody who says salsa isn't a real condomint because it's not american, I say back 1)You are a hater and 2) IT WAS INVENTED IN TEXAS NOT MEXICO

#5 Ranch Dresing

This nutritius cream is the best type of diet for building strength before going to the war. Eat with every meal to up your power and spray badass shits.

#4 Blue Cheese

Previous entry but times two

#3 Dijon Mustard

Before you get all up on me for ranking djon mustard higher than America mustard, you should know that I support the war on terror unlike those godless commies in Francse. Dijon is just spicier, but still NOT THE BEST.

#2 Catchup

What, you thought that he would be number one?! This tomato gel is good, and a solid patriotic choice, but even it bows before the king known as...

#1 HONEY MUSTARD!

What else could it be?! Honey is the greatest of all of the 'stards. It's got the sweet, it's got the sour, it's got the yellow. Every time i go to Chickfilla I wear a second pair of pants, right?
Like, I wear sweat pants underneeth my jeans and then I walk up to where the sauces and napkins at, and i open the jeans and fill my secret inner pockets up with honey mustard like dozens of them and then
i fill up the jean pockets too, then I don't even buy anthing and go home and PARTY. That's what america is all about bich!

Questions? Coments? Do you disagree with my ranking system or want to know more about the inner workings of the genius level mind that brought these fact?