THE GENTLEMAN's GUIDE TO GET GIRLFRIND FOR CHEAPER THAN OLIVE GARDEN

Hey there stud. If you are anyhting like me then you are far too handsome talented muscular polite rich and SENSUAL for

any of the LOCAL SINGLES in your area? And BESIDE, who has all of the money to take these various honorable womens

out to an Olive Garden, finest cuisine in town, anyway? And even IF you were, they would just eat all of your

SO-CALLED INFINITE BREADSTICKS and leave just like that, as in such as my exwife Charlyne, that bobcat of the night.

SO, I have a proposition (and not the gay kind either so cool your jets sir) - why not learn of my advice and get a beautful

lady for way less benjamins than it costs for dinner (unless of course you know the loophole of where you eat all of the breadsticks, right,

and don't even order any entrays and leave without paying and if they say "what about my tip" then you point at YOUR

tip, yeah my man, you know what I'm talking about, the big ol' little tip, yuo want some meatballs with that breadstick?!)

Oh yeah, but cheap girlfrend

So you go on Amazon and you buy this plant holder for plants:

and I know what you're thinking; haha no we are NOT interior decorating to make our place looks nice because THAT

would be a feline thing to do instead of a manly thing. NO! We need THE BOX. Throw away the plant stand once you get it

(unless you make weapons out of it, that would be SICK)

and STEP 1 there's a little circle cardbord piece

draw your IDEAL WOMAN upon this canvas of destiny

STEP 2

TAPE OR STAPLE the beautiface to the boxbody

and make a ROMANCE hole as apropriate

STEP 3 ACCESORIZE

HA! WHO IS THE "FUCKING IDIOT WITH PSYKOLOGICAL PROBLEM" NOW CHARLYNE?!

NOW I AM GETTING LAID EVERY NIGHT AND ALL THE BREADSTICKS ARE MINE